There might be many instances in your life where you have spoken too much. This wouldn’t harm you in the short term, but can you say the same for the long-term? Probably not. It seems that we’re in a world where people tend to keep on talking. They are satisfied with the dopamine hits attached to their words. But having the edge over “normal” makes us exceptional. In this blog, we should talk about getting an edge and limiting our words.
Don’t talk about …
1. Your Future Plan
Goals are sacred. If you don’t believe this, you’re wrong! A lot of people who share their goals publicly don’t tend to achieve them. They feel horrible for one reason or another when they say they’re going to do something and end up doing nothing. Apart from all these, you can be taunted forever due to some insignificant things you weren’t able to do. It happened to me even. I wanted to crack a competitive examination and told all my friends and family about it. Next, I was fond of the attention received and wasn’t into practicing and building myself up. That’s the last time I practiced sharing my goals before achieving them.
Sometimes keeping things private is helpful for the long term.
The expectations of getting held accountable and encouraged if you’re being diverted from your goal are not worth it. Your friends might congratulate you, but no one cares about your goals except yourself. Peter Gollwitzer conducted research and concluded people tend to give up on their goals sooner if they share their goals.
Don’t get me wrong. Goal setting is a very valuable skill. Share your goals with your journal alongside a deadline. Don’t fall for the immediate gratification you get by sharing them with outsiders. Among the things to keep quiet about, this is the most important one.
2. Your Love Life
This statement might be so simple that most of the aspects will be overlooked. We can divide the following section into two parts.
Your Past Experiences
It’s said that your past doesn’t matter. I can’t assure you the same in your current relationship. It’s okay to discuss less. The bond you had with someone else is not meant to be scrutinized, and this also might give your prospective future one point to argue about in future discussions or quarrel. Your past experiences can be taken as a precedent. This will set a belief in your partner’s mind alongside establishing a hard to change mindset about you. Do you want your past experiences involved in future discussions? Probably not. Keep what you had with someone before within you.
Your Present Mishaps
A relationship is a bond between two individuals. Whenever a third comes with their expert opinion on how things should be, problems arise. On various occasions, I have seen people misguide themselves and create doubt due to what a friend told them. Sometimes people, when they are hurting, vent out things the partner has done wrong without focusing on the things they might have done wrong themselves. They want their friend to take their side without any consideration of the other side of the story. This is absurd. People forget that they might have done something wrong and realize that it’s not something they want to confess in front of their friend. This challenges the very structure of a relationship. Have effective communication with your partner and solve your conflicts. Take initiatives to solve the issues; it’s way better than to involve a third party.
If you have to talk to more than three people about the same problem, You don't want help, You want attention.— Naomi Campbell (@NaomiCampbell) November 30, 2012
Those were the major ones to keep a low key. Treat your relationships no less than your Investment plans. Keep it private.
3. Your Income
Talking about your income will pull out a lot of opportunities away from your life. You can’t play down your wealth, and people will have expectations towards you just because they’re aware you make more. Forget saying a ‘NO.’ They will claim you’re arrogant and boastful. You will be judged on how much you donate and would be peer forced to donate for a cause you’re not passionate about.
You might have to maintain social status, or else people might question your claims, and don’t forget that you’re going to have a hard time mixing in. People will tend to associate your identity with a monthly paycheck. These are the wealth depleting factors.
Now imagine yourself at a negotiation table for a lease. Do you think it will be harder for you to get the best price as people know your Income? It definitely will be. You will lose great opportunities just because you opened your mouth once for too long. If your clients know about your Income, they might slander your name. They might think about you like a hungry capitalist.
Don’t forget to build a brand. You will need to tackle these slanders. It’s one more task among your busy daily schedule. It’s better to not talk about your Income in the first place.
4. Your Family Issues
Truthfully, no one cares! You’re wasting your time with this. It’s better to work on something which will help the problem to be resolved. Try to get suggestions from people whom you respect on delicate matters and not your friends if you need any.
I regularly see people ask totally uninformed or nonbelievable people questions and get answers that they believe. This is often worse than having no answers at all. Don’t make that mistake. pic.twitter.com/uQ0Maofu5i— Ray Dalio (@RayDalio) February 20, 2019
This is not the end – use ‘Think on Paper ’ if you’re blank. It helps to present a better solution. Coming to your own solution removes the chance of taken as an advantage by people. Try to tackle your own problems on your own or with the help of a family member. At last, family is everything!